yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I need water and some morals
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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