it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
