You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
