At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ttyl tear gas
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
