I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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