Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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