sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
