So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize