They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
