I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
