Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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