i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
