just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
