so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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