anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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