She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
