That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
