You're so nebulous sometimes
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
