He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
