I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
