girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
