Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
