There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
