I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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