Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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