He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need water and some morals
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
