Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
