We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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