She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
