Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
