Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
