So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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