it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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