I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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