I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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