We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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