Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
