Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
