a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
