I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
