I just pynch a tree in the face
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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