one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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