Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
