K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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