Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
