The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
