respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
