This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
