apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
