you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
smell my finger.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
