Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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