is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
